Published by Harper Teen on 9/11/2012
Genres: Comedy, Paranormal Fiction, Romance, Young Adult
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Things That Are Destroying Jane Greene’s Undead Social Life Before It Can Even Begin:
1) A twelve-year-old brother who’s convinced she’s a zombie.\r\n2) Parents who are begging her to turn them into vampires.\r\n3) The pet goldfish she accidentally turns instead.\r\n4) Weird superpowers that let her rip the heads off of every other vampire she meets.(Sounds cool, but it doesn’t win you many friends.)\r\n5) A pyschotic vampire creator who’s using her to carry out a plan for world domination.
And finally:\r\n6) A seriously ripped vampire hunter who either wants to stake her or make out with her. Not sure which.
Being an undead, eternally pasty fifteen-year-old isn’t quite the sexy, brooding, angst-fest Jane always imagined....
There is only one word acronym to describe Fang Girl – “LOL.” One needs a fabulous sense of humor to read this one, and if you’re a Twilight-fan – wait no…scratch that – if you’re a YA slash paranormal romance fan, you can’t take yourself too seriously or you will seriously hate this book. Did I hate it? Absolutely not. It cracked me the f up.
Xanthe Jane Greene (Janie) loves all things vampires. She thinks vampires are sexy, has a Dracula ringtone, and spends her time hanging out at Fang-Girls.net (I won’t lie – I actually googled to see if that was real – it wasn’t
unfortunately thankfully). Not to mention her piles and piles of vampire fiction. But she never thought vampires were real. And then she wakes up in a coffin. Dead.
Like I said before, if you take your vampire fiction-love seriously and get offended when people make fun of your reading choices, don’t read this book. Just don’t. Fang Girl pokes fun at every major YA/PNR franchise, like Twilight and Vampire Academy. It is satire to the nth degree. And it was hysterical. I found myself literally LULZing on every page, because Keeble puts Janie in the most asinine situations and really makes them so unbelievable, you can’t help but laugh because you know that’s the entire point of the story. None of it is real, DUH!
Keeble was also incredible in delivering one-liners with a dry sort of sarcasm only found in satire that really just made me laugh. Here are some examples:
“Die, foul fiend,” he snarled, charging once more.
“Foul fiend?” I said, nearly getting clipped by the blade due to disbelief. I rolled to pick up a few more paperclips. “Did you actually just say that, like, non-ironically?”
Anyone looking at my teeth wouldn’t immediately think “vampire,” just “typically awful British dentistry.”
Crap. Three years of braces down the drain.
My stalker didn’t move. He was so utterly still, I would never have seen him if it hadn’t been for that one slight, startled jerk of his head. He stayed motionless as my fingers walked along the line of my books, motionless as I drew one out…
And then he did move, because my hardcover copy of Breaking Dawn whacked him full in the face, with all my vampiric strength propelling it.
The plot in Fang Girl isn’t a superbly strong one: Janie has been turned by one vampire, but is being chased by another and is also unkillable. Her parents take her vampism rather well, begging to be turned, while her brother would rather be a zombie. Vampires may or may not be OCD, and your best weapon against them may or may not be paperclips and poppy seeds flung everywhere. There may also be a vampire fish involved. No no, you guys, stay with me. None of this matters. Fang Girl isn’t meant to be the next greatest literary novel. Oh no. Fang Girl is meant to bring you laughter, make fun of yourself and give you a nice sense of the ridiculous. It has crossed the WTF line by so much, the line is a speck on the horizon. And I liked that about it.
You could also play a drinking game with Fang Girl: one shot for every time you read the word “vampiric.” I may try it.
Sometimes I need a good belly laugh and Fang Girl gave it to me in spades. I highly recommend you read it for nothing else if not the comedy!
I squirmed until my feet were planted solidly against the top of the coffin. It creaked, resisting me – then, it flew open, and a whole load of earth fell into my mouth. I’d intended to burst forth with a dramatic cry and fangs agleam, but it ended up being more of a splutter and a stagger.
Disclaimers: This book was provided to me by the publisher in exchange of an honest review. Blurb and photo source courtesy of Goodreads. *If you decide to purchase this book through any of these links, we do receive a small monetary kick-back that helps fund this blog.
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